Insane on the Inside Insane on the Outside
by Bitterly Sweet Chic
Summary: Alice is bored again and this is NEVER a good thing. Edward tips her off to go to the store and buy pink things. What could possibly go wrong?.......everything! Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any of the characters...
1. Chapter 1

hey everyone! Please go easy on me, this is my first story! I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: sadly, i don't own the twilight characters...

**Everything Pink**

_**Alice's POV**_

"I'm bored!" I complained to Edward. Everyone else had gone somewhere to do something.

"Well go do something" He replied sharply, sounding a bit perturbed. He had been sitting here doing something (I think knitting!!!) when I decided to come chat with him.

"Ed, are you KNITTING??" I asked in total disbelief.

"NO!"

"Eddie, don't lie to me!"

"Why did you call me 'Eddie'? That's NOT my name!" he replied trying to change the subject.

"DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT, EDWARD!!!" I yelled at him, starting to get annoyed.

"Fine! No! Maybe! I Don't Know!!" he threw up his arms and stomped out of the room. Apparently try to hide his embarrassment.

"Don't try to hide your embarrassment, Eddie! I know its there, deep inside!" I yelled after him, trying to bewilder him. I think it worked to. Because his steps faltered as I said this. "_I know! I'll go shopping!!! My most absolutely, positively, beyond the limits of life, FAVORITE thing to do!!!_" I thought to myself.

"Do you have ANY clue what you just said?!?!" Edward shouted at me from the other room. Needless to say he didn't have to shout. I could of heard him clearly if he had just whispered it.

"NOPE! Not a clue!!" I shouted back blissfully. I herd Edward chuckle up stairs. Since it was 2am and like no stores were opened, I went to Wal-Mart.

"Hey! What should I buy at Wal-Mart??" I asked.

"I Don't Know!! Why are you asking me?!?" He replied sounding aggravated, again. "Just answer the dang question Edward! The sooner you answer it, the sooner I'll be out of here!" I pointed out. I herd nothing but silence for a moment. I figured he was thinking. And rite before I was about to scream at him again, he answered my question.

"Buy everything you find that is pink and green!"

"Are you GAY!?!?!" I hollered, taken aback.

"NO!!!!!... I … I just thought you, since you're a girl and all, well you were last time I checked you were a girl, would like those colors" He staggered.

"What ever! I'm leaving! Buh Bye!" I called.

"Later" was his unadorned reply. "Wow. He's such a jerk sometimes" I though to myself. I slammed the door behind me and the last thing I herd from the house was Edward's obnoxious laughter. "He's a guy." I told myself as I drove towards the grungy looking Wal-Mart. That's self-explanatory. When I drove into the parking lot I saw only two cars. "The cars of the people having to work the late shift and about to get a taste of Alice on a mission. A mission for pink." I thought. When I strolled inside, I saw absolutely no one. It was like a barren waste land.

"Oh well" I said to myself. "I'm on a mission." I grabbed a shopping cart on my way in. I quickly decided to start my amazing mission in the food section of Wal-Mart. I walked by the bakery and saw a COLOSSAL birthday cake on display. Frosted with neon pink letters and blue and green and purple balloons! I rang a bell for "customer service" and waited for like f-o-r-e-v-e-r! But, none of the lazy-butt, human employees responded. I finally gave up on waiting for some dawdling human, who was probably asleep on one of those comfy recliner-chair-things on display.

"I know! I'll make my own cake!!" I exclaimed to myself. Anyone watching would think I was on crack or something.

"But first…" I said thoughtfully and reached over to a clearance stand, conveniently selling light bulbs. Kind of ironic, but what ever. And grabbed the nearest light bulb and a yellow sharpie mini from my purse. I then colored the light bulb yellow!

"I'm a genus!" I thought to myself while I did this. Then I placed the yellow light bulb above my head and made a clicking sound with my tongue. Like as if I was saying "oh. Look everyone! I had an idea!"

"I had an idea!" I exclaimed to whoever happen to be listening. And anyone who really was listening would think I was for sure on crack, or cocaine, or what ever! And maybe I really was and just didn't know it yet. I tossed the light bulb back on the stand without making as much as crack on it, and threw the sharpie into the black hole that I call a purse. I walked into the bakery, looking around with a completely dumbfounded look on my face. I had NEVER made a cake before! At least, not that I can remember. I quickly pulled out my cell phone and pressed five. I had Bella's, recently required (Hee Hee. You should have seen her flip out when I gave it to her!) cell phone on speed dial now. It rang FOUR times before Miss Lazy-Bella-Pants decided to answer.

"WHAT!!!" came Bella's sleepily irritated voice.

"Well 'hello' to you too, Miss Grumpy-kinns" I responded blissfully.

"It's three in the morning!!" Bella cried.

"Yes, I know Darling. I know how to read a clock too you know. I'm not stupid! But I am glad to know, that you know how to read one too." I countered. Bella just mumbled something inaubible and I laughed.

"Hey, you don't happen to know how to make a cake, do ya?" I inquired.

"Not now, no.What for anyway? Because you better have dang good accuse for calling me this early in the morning to ask how to make a stupid cake! Not all people get to stay up all night and exist without sleep." Bella complained.

"Well I'm sorry you're a human, and that I woke you! I guess you just love me enough to care about what I want every now and then!" I cried, playing the guilt card on her. Edward is going to be real mad at me for doing that.

"Oh Alice! You know thats not true! I love you! I'm just sleeply thats all! And in the morning I'll help you make as many cakes as your heart desires!" Bella pleaded, guilt thick in her tone.

"Sure!" I sniffled "Good bye! Go get some sleep" I said more calmly and hug up. I sighed, and relized I would have to give up on my pink cake mission. I hedded off to the left, spotting a pink egg carton...


	2. Chapter 2

Fire Fun

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the Twilight characters.

**Fire Fun!!**

_**Alice's POV**_

"Pink, pink, pink" I muttered to myself, while walking down isle seven in the Grocery center in Wal-Mart. My buggy was already full of most everything pink you can find in the Grocery section of Wal-Mart. Pink egg-carton, pink watermelon half, pink honey-glazed Easter ham, pink frosted donuts (don't even ask how I got them!), pink Hershey kisses, pink frilled tooth picks and the list goes on and on! But all of a sudden got this huge whiff of something……something abnormal. I froze. Only one thing in this world would smell like this. A vampire.

"Emmett!" I whispered in shock to no one but myself. I ran outside to the back of the building where the smell was coming from. I saw Emmett in a corner, crouching over something with a match in his hand.

"Emmett! What _are_ you doing!?" I gawked at him. He snapped his head up in surprise.

"Oh! Hey Alice." He replied conversationally, continuing what ever it was that he was doing.

"Emmett! Are you making a fire, again!?"

"Ummmmm. Maybe…" He replied coyly and I raised my eye-brow giving him "a look".

"And if I was, what are you going to do about it?" he challenged.

"Well why, in the first place, are you even making a fire?!"

"You have to promises not to get mad first."

"Emmett! Don't tell me that because then I'll get mad!"

"Relax! It's not that bad! Plus I said not to get mad."

"Fine!" I took a quick deep breath to make it look good. "I'm calm. Okay?"

"Are you sure?" Emmett ask deliberately trying to annoy me.

"Yes I'm sure." I replied keeping a strait face.

"Okay then, it was just another dare."

"Seriously?! Just a stupid dare!" I asked in disbelief.

"Yep." Emmett said nodding and giving a small smirk.

"You guys are dumb."

"Yes we know." Emmett said foolishly and I just rolled my eyes.


End file.
